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Underworld: Blood Wars

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Released: January 2017

Rated R

Director: Anna Foerster

Run Time: 91 Minutes

Distributor: Sony Pictures

Cast:
Kate Beckinsale: Selene
Theo James: David
Tobias Menzies: Marius
Lara Pulver: Semira
Charles Dance: Thomas

I’m going to do a special feature on this, but for now let me say this:  January is the worst possible month for movies.  There’s a reason for this.  Most movies that come out in January end up not being very good.  Why is that?  It seems to be the dumping place for movies that studios have the least faith in.  It’s been like this for quite some time.  If a movie is released in January, it doesn’t end well.  The movie itself might not necessarily be bad, but people won’t go out to see it.  It’s a new year, and it’s cold out.  People don’t want to leave the comfort of their homes.  Movie studios know this and they place questionable releases in the first month of the year.  With that being said, it’s 2017, so we have a ton of new movies coming out this year.  So, what’s the first one I see?  A sequel: Underworld: Blood Wars, the fifth entry into the gothic vampire/werewolf action film saga.  Is it any good?  Let’s dive in.

Underwold: Blood Wars begins as the legendary “Death Dealer,” Selene is on the run from a coven of Vampires because she killed Victor, a High Elder.  She’s also being targeted by Lycans(werewolves) because her daughter, Eve, has special blood that could make the Lycans invincible against the Vampire clans.  However, nobody knows where Eve is, not even her own mother.  Marius, the new leader of the Lycans, has organized a large enough force to challenge the vampires on their own doorstep.  In order to fight the Lycan horde, the Vampire coven is forced to recruit Selene in their fight for survival.  The film’s story has a lot of problems and most of them are a result of the previous film, Underworld: Awakening.  The biggest issue here is the fact that Eve is mentioned at all.  She doesn’t even show up.  She appears in flashbacks and a quirky vision at the end of the film, but that’s it.  Since nobody can find her, that means she’s safe, if we are going by this film’s logic.  If Eve is safe, then where’s the fucking tension?  As problematic as the last movie was, Selene had something to fight for.  When she found out she had a daughter, she was willing to do ANYTHING to keep the girl safe.  So, if the girl is no longer a part of the equation, what motive does Selene have to continue fighting?  The answer is simple:  She doesn’t.  What we have here is a tired retread of what’s come before:  Selene is asked to come back by the vampires and is promptly betrayed….again and has to fight her way out with the aid of another person….again.  At least, in the last movie she was an unstoppable force.  Here, it seems as though if the character was written to be helpless for a good chunk of the film.  There are a couple of threads here and there that are fairly interesting.  David is the son of a High Elder, which essentially makes him royalty.  It’s also revealed that there were other covens around the world.  The one in the west was destroyed when humans discovered that vampires and werewolves existed.  There is also a coven far to the north, where their vampires have special…gifts.  I like the fact that Blood Wars is trying to add to the mythos of the franchise, and that is arguably the most interesting part of the franchise.  However, there is no payoff to all that background information.

Since the story is a bust, how’s the rest of the film?  Let’s take a look at the acting.  I’m going to be honest with you, I’ve had a bit of a crush on Kate Beckinsale when she first donned the black leather outfit.  She’s beautiful and she’s bad-ass in the role.  She clearly loves playing the character and doing all the fights and stunts, so she has the biggest stake in the film, obviously.  Her performance is easily the best in the film.  Her character is both strong and vulnerable at times, and Kate gives the character a pathos which is clearly lacking in many movies these days.  She helps drive the film forward.  The only other actor in the film that also pulls his weight is Charles Dance as Thomas.  The guy has a grace and elegance about him that also gives him a very commanding presence.  I’ve always liked Charles Dance as an actor.  He has a gravitas unlike anyone I’ve ever seen.  Everyone else though, is pretty disposable.  There’s nothing here that’s Oscar-worthy.  Razz-worthy?  Possibly.

Okay, the story’s a bust and the acting is a very mixed bag, so how’s the action?  This is an area in which the movie excels.  The action is surprisingly hard-hitting and very, VERY violent.  You’ve got gunfights, swordfights, and general hand-to-hand fisticuffs.  It’s pretty varied.  I’m fairly impressed.  In the northern fortress, when the Lycans attack, it’s a brutal affair.  People get torn to shreds and we get to see werewolves get sliced in half.  It’s pretty much non-stop.  When the first bullet flies, the movie just shifts into overdrive.  As a straight-up action movie, Blood Wars has it where it counts.

Ultimately, a lot of the problems that I have with this film are not just story-related.  The editing is all over the board.  For a lot of things that are happening on screen, the movie is not long enough to take it all in.  In fact, there were several instances where I feel that certain elements of the film that could have been necessary, where taken out.  The editing was sloppy.  I can only hope that the home video release has an extended version, because there’s stuff here that’s missing.  It feels like Sony wants this franchise to die.  I hope it doesn’t, because there is enormous potential for some truly epic story-telling.  I love the background information.  I love the lore.  It’s all very interesting.  It’s just a shame that the movies surrounding this aren’t so hot.  Look, I’m going to be honest.  I’m a pretty hardcore fan of the Underworld movies.  Even Awakening.  I can honestly forgive a lot of the issues that the film has because I’m a fan of the franchise, but not a lot of people will.  If you are a die-hard fan of the series, then you will find something to love here.  I did, but I also see the problems that the movie has.  So, because of this, I will give two final scores.

Final Score for Fans of Underworld: 7/10.
Final Score for Everybody else: 5/10.

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Most Anticipated Movies for 2017

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2016, like any other year, had its fair share of ups and downs as far as movies go.  While we had phenomenal films like Deadpool, Forsaken, Captain America: Civil War and Rogue One, we also had some highly questionable films like Suicide Squad, Traded, and Ghostbusters.  It was a fairly even mix of good and bad.  Now that 2017 has started, we’ve got whole bunch of movies that are coming out.  I’m going to list some of my most anticipated movies that are coming out this year.  Does that mean they’re going to be good?  No.  I never know that until I see the movie for myself, that’s how this thing works, silly.  Well, let’s get going and see what’s heading our way.

Underworld: Blood Wars

Underworld: Blood Wars is the fifth entry into the Underworld franchise starring Kate Beckinsale.  I’m going to be honest, I really love this series of movies.  It’s dark, gothic, and very stylish.  Is there a whole lot of substance to the franchise?  You’re dealing with Vampires versus Werewolves.  Really:  What more do you want?  As many problems as I had with Awakening, the fourth entry, seeing Kate Beckinsale take on armies of Werewolves is nothing short of spectacular.  Kate is really phenomenal as Selene.  It certainly doesn’t hurt that she can rock a corset like nobody else, but she does have a very commanding presence.  This new film looks to take things a bit further, with both vampires and werewolves wanting Selene’s blood for their own purposes.  I’m definitely looking forward to this one.

John Wick: Chapter 2

John Wick was a very surprising action flick from 2014.  Keanu Reeves starred as a retired hitman for the Russian mob.  He was attacked by some gangsters and his puppy was killed in the attack.  As a result, Wick waged a one-man war against the entire Russian mafia.  The action was stellar and Keanu’s performance as the stoic John Wick was PERFECT.  It was bad-ass.  It also introduced as to this underworld of assassins that use gold coins as currency.  Chapter 2 takes John Wick around the globe on the hunt again for the people who won’t leave him alone.  That’s all you need to know.  This one is definitely on my “must-see” list, obviously, since it’s already here. 😛

Logan

Wolverine is quite possibly one of the most recognizable comic book characters to date, and Hugh Jackman really made that fact a reality.  Ever since starring in the original X-Men film, Hugh Jackman has really made a name for himself.  Obviously, Wolverine is Jackman’s most recognized character.  While some of the movies have stumbled, there’s no denying that the Wolverine is a bad-ass.  As the character puts it, he’s the best at what he does, but what he does best isn’t very nice.  Logan is the first movie with the character that is fully R-Rated.  It’s about damn time.  It’s set in a world where mutants have been hunted nearly to extinction.  It looks dark, gritty and awesome.  This is also supposed to be Hugh Jackman’s last turn as the clawed superhero.  Here’s hoping it’s really good.

Power Rangers

I’m calling it right now:  Power Rangers is going to be a box-office bomb.  Big time.  That doesn’t mean that I’m not going to see it.  I am.  I’m a huge fan of the original show that debuted back in 1993.  This new movie looks very interesting with 5 teenagers with attitudes stumbling upon some mysterious coins that give them extraordinary powers.  I’m probably going to end up liking it, mostly because we’ve got Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa and Bryan Cranston as Zordon.  I’m sold, I just hope the action is good.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

It’s not very often that a comic book movie about some relatively unknown characters takes the world by storm, but Guardians of the Galaxy did just that.  Not only was it fresh and exciting, but it was incredibly funny as well.  Aside from all that, it was a very compelling experience.  The action sequences were spectacular and the performances were out of this world.  Literally.  This new film looks to one-up the original in every single way.  Kurt Russell is joining the cast as Star-Lord’s father, so things should get very interesting.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

There have been many movies based on the legend of King Arthur.  The best of which was Excalibur in 1980.  It was done fairly realistically, but added a lot of magic and other amazing elements, and ended up being one of the best fantasy films ever made.  There was an animated Disney film, and there was recent film with Clive Owen that was based more on a realistic interpretation of the character.  This year, we get a full-blown fantasy film that is the origin of King Arthur.  There’s swordplay, magic, and dragons.  Jude Law plays the main villain, and it looks pretty cool.  Is it going to set the box-office on fire?  Not a chance in hell, but that’s not going to stop me from seeing it.

Alien: Covenant

When Alien was released back in 1979, it took the world by storm with its claustrophobic atmosphere and terrifying creature: The xenomorph.  After several sequels and failed spinoffs, Fox Studios and Ridley Scott went back to the drawing board and Prometheus was born.  While Prometheus was not a terrible movie, it didn’t feel like the Alien film that it should have been.  It didn’t know what kind of movie it wanted to be.  I personally loved it, but a lot of people didn’t.  Now, we get an official to the film and it looks like a proper Alien film.  From what I understand, not only do we get the classic creature, we get a new spin on the the monster called the Neomorph.  If this trailer is any indication, Alien: Covenant looks to bring the terror back to the franchise in a very good way.  Right now, this looks to be my most anticipated movie this year.  I can’t wait.

Dunkirk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWB_COWnbrw

Director Christopher Nolan is at it again.  This time it’s a war movie.   Dunkirk is about the evacuation of the French port of Dunkirk, where the British Expeditionary Force was cut off from the French army by the German war machine.  I’m a huge fan of war films.  Ever since Saving Private Ryan showed up in 1998, more war movies have tried to portray their particular battles with the utmost realism.  Some of them succeeded and some of them failed.  Dunkirk is a story that I haven’t read that much about, so I’m genuinely curious about this one.  Christopher Nolan is a master filmmaker with great attention to detail, and he doesn’t film his movies digitally.  I think it’s great that certain stories during World War II are finally coming to light through movies and other forms of media.  It lets the rest of us know more about the last great war of the 20th century.  I’ve got my eyes on this one.

Wonder Woman

Honestly, I was debating whether or not to put this one on the list.  We’re finally getting a Justice League film in November, but honestly, Wonder Woman is getting more attention from me at this point.  Why?  It’s the first live-action Wonder Woman movie ever.  While I initially had doubts about Gal Gadot’s ability to portray the character, my fears were laid to rest when she showed up in Batman V. Superman.  I was sold on Gal Gadot as Diana Prince.  This movie is set during World War I, and it may help to explain why she disappeared after the war.  From a visual standpoint, this looks amazing.  It’s long past time for a character like Wonder Woman to grace the big screen.  She is the first female superhero and by far one of the most iconic superheroes of all time.  In fact, Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman are THE most iconic superheroes ever.

As far as mainstream movies go, these are my most anticipated.  I’m hoping it’ll be a good year for movies.  So with that in mind, here’s to seeing what 2017 will bring us.

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The Worst of 2016

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A couple of weeks ago I did my Best of 2016 and highlighted some of the best movie experiences I had this year.  Now, I’m going to take a look at some of the worst and most disappointing experiences I’ve had this year, and this year was a doozy.  There were a large number of big-budget movies that fell somewhat flat, and some that were just atrocious.  So, let’s get this shitshow on the road.

Gods of Egypt

Oh, boy.  Where do I begin with this one?  I knew from the first moment that I saw the trailer for Gods of Egypt that this was not going to be a good movie.  It was loaded with CGI and a lot of that CGI was NOT good.  It was blatantly obvious at times.  The performances across the board were pretty awful, particularly Gerard Butler as Set.  The only one that managed to pull his own weight was Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as Horus.  I’ll be honest, I enjoyed the film on a certain level, but when it comes to the director Alex Proyas, he’s done a hell of a lot better.  I mean, this is the guy that gave us The Crow and the twisted sci-fi noir film, Dark City.  He’s capable of making good movies, so what the hell happened here?  Egyptian mythology has incredibly great stories to tell, but Gods of Egypt just wasn’t good.

Traded

About 7 years ago, a little movie called Taken took the world by storm with a very cool story about Liam Neeson trying to save his daughter from the illegal sex trade and ended up being a thrilling film.  That would be a concept that work in a Western, wouldn’t it?  If handled properly, then yes.  However, Traded just doesn’t cut it.  It feels like a cheap Western knock-off of Liam Neeson’s movie, with Michael Pare in Neeson’s shoes.  His performance was pretty good, but everybody else just phoned it in.  In a kidnapping, there needs to be a sense of urgency, it’s why the good kidnapping thrillers work so well.  There’s a time-crunch involved.  Here, everybody seems to taking their time.  Bringing Kris Kristofferson into the mix was a good idea that was poorly executed.  He’s the kind of guy that belongs in Westerns, but he’s completely wasted here.  If it wasn’t for Michael Pare’s performance, this whole movie would be a complete waste of time.

Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice: Theatrical Edition

I know what you’re thinking:  How can Batman V. Superman be on both my best and worst lists?  Let me explain:  I actually really liked the film, but the extended version of the film was the better version.  The theatrical release was a mess, with plot threads that just….didn’t go anywhere.  My other big issue was that this movie shouldn’t have happened for another year or two at least.  Superman needed a second movie of his own to prove that he was a re-established character.  Instead, Snyder and company went full-bore into the Death and Life storyline that needed more time to set up.  I’m glad they’re doing it, it’s just too early.  As far as comic book movies go, this was not one of the better ones this year.

Ben-Hur

This one seems pretty obvious.  I guess if you haven’t seen the Charlton Heston version of the film, then it might be ok.  However, I did see Heston’s movie, and it is a far superior film in EVERY way.  The problems with the new movie are several.  For one, they took a large story that took Heston’s film 3.5 hours to tell, and whittled it down to 2 hours.  That means they cut out a LOT of important information and crucial character development.  Also, Jack Huston is no Charlton Heston.  I appreciate what they were trying to do with the film, but it feels like a pale imitation.  The chariot race, which was the big centerpiece of the previous film, is loaded with bad CGI.  I understand that doing a chariot race like that is cost-prohibitive, but it would have felt more real.  Also, I do like the fact that Messala gets more development as a character, but this was supposed to be Ben-Hur’s quest for redemption, not Messala’s.  It’s called Ben-Hur, not Messala.  It has its moments, I’ll give it that, but when stacked against the previous version, there really is no comparison.

Ghostbusters

Of all the movies that I’ve seen this year, this one hurts me the most.  I should have expected it, given the disastrous marketing and PR campaigns, but I held out hope that was going to be at least decent.  My initial review of the film gave it a 6/10, but the more I think about it, it doesn’t even deserve that.  I’m not revoking my score, but the new Ghostbusters was unmitigated cluster-fuck.  It has nothing to do with the cast, though, who did a fairly decent job with what they were given.  What they were given, however, was a poorly-written shit-show.  Top that off with a laughable villain and a horrendous new theme song and you have a film that really has no place in the Ghostbusters franchise.  Director Paul Feig has and is still trying to defend the film, even though, it was a box-office disaster.  It was not a good movie.  This was the movie that put me into a bit of a funk over the past few months for movies.  I didn’t see a movie in theaters until Doctor Strange came out.  That’s how much Ghostbusters disappointed me.  I may give it a second chance down the road, but I’m still irritated that this wasn’t the movie that we deserved.

Those are my personal picks for the worst movies for 2016, which is thankfully coming to a close.  I’m honestly hoping that next year is going to be better for more mainstream movies.  With a new Alien movie coming out and a new Blade Runner, we may have a decent year ahead of us, as far as movies go.  So, with that in mind, I hope everybody has a happy New Year, and I will see you in 2017.

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RIP Carrie Fisher

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Carrie Fisher
October 21, 1956-December 27, 2016

2016 has been a rough year, especially when it comes to celebrity deaths.  Alan Rickman, David Bowie, and Anton Yelchin all passed before their time.  But the one that truly stings the most is Carrie Fisher.  As of this writing, she died this morning after suffering a massive heart attack over the weekend.  Her mother, Debbie Reynolds had reported that Carrie was in stable condition as of last night.  Carrie had apparently gone into cardiac arrest on a flight.  They had to use CPR.  Her passing stings the most because she was such a trailblazer.  Her breakthrough performance was that of Princess Leia Organa in Star Wars.  She proved that not only could you have a strong female presence in an action movie, but also maintain a presence in a heavily male-dominated industry.  Carrie Fisher paved the way for future female action stars, which includes Charlize Theron, Zoe Saldana and Sigourney Weaver.  Not only did she stand tall with her male co-stars, but she stole the show at several times during the Original Trilogy.  She had since starred in movies like The Blues Brothers, Scream 3, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.  She had a very commanding presence when she stepped onto the screen.

It was not just her work on the screen that garnered attention.  She had since become a major advocate for mental health issues due to her own personal experiences with drug addiction and bipolar disorder.  Carrie Fisher had become a symbol of hope for so many people who also suffered from mental health issues.  Carrie Fisher was a mother, daughter, sister and a wonderful person to be around from all accounts.  Carrie Fisher is survived by by her mother, Debbie Reynolds; her daughter, Billie Lourd, and her brother, Todd Fisher.  For those of us who didn’t know her personally, we will always remember her as Princess Leia Organa.  Her life and her accomplishments should be celebrated.  The world is lesser for her loss, but is strengthened by what she has done.  Good-bye Carrie Fisher.  The Force will be with you, always.